Kõik vihkavad Nickelbacki

Published On: February 13, 2016By

’’Never made it as a wise man, couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealin’, tired of living like a blind…’’ ja nii edasi. Me kõik teame neid sõnu. Aga mõnel meist on piinlik neid kaasa laulda. Kardavad, et mõni üli-cool võhik vaatab nende poole tülgastusega, mõeldes, mitmes viin sul küll läheb, et sa Nickelbacki sõnu tead. Paljud ei saa isegi aru, miks selliseid ’’võhikuid’’ eksisteerib, kuidas saab nii ’’õilsa’’ sõnumi ja ’’mõnusa’’ repertuaariga bändi poole pilduda vihaseid kommentaare? Lihtsamalt küsides: miks Nickelback nii pask on?

Alustame algusest. Härrade esimene album ’’Curb’’ ilmus aastal 1996, kui grunge hakkas hääbuma ning nu-metal, rap metal ja hiliste 90ndate kraam üle võttis. Kuna ma polnud ise varem albumiga lähemalt tutvunud, võtsin mõned minutid, et asjast lühike ülevaade saada, ja teate mis – see oli ikka päris okei. Nagu mitte okei kui Rimi Basic teevalik, vaid okei kui seda kannatab kuulata. Sünge grunge, mis meeste edasist muusikakarjääri arvesse võttes lausa särab. Ja siis ma võtan kõrvale ’’How You Remind Me’’ ja ’’Someday’’,  ning mõtlen, mis just juhtus, Chad Kroeger? Kas vahetasid lõikumise ja viina Caesari salati ning Bud Lighti vastu? Miks muutus tõelise tundega muusika mingiks läilaks sõnnikuks? Ausalt, ma tahaks lihtsalt kellegi pea vastu seina virutada, sest ma olen nii vihane, et meeste ilmselgeid muusikalisi võimeid  nüüd lihtsalt kuskil pimedas Kanada keldris hoitakse, kus ühe silmaga mees nimega Mein Stream neid lukuga peksab. Ja siis ma sain aru, milles asi – plaadifirmad.

Ei pea kaua mõtlema, miks võib talent raisku minna, kui mängus on suured rahasummad. Kapitalistlik ühiskond ometi. Meestele antakse kätte käsikiri, et nii poisid, nüüd on nii, et siin on see, mida me tahame, see teenib tonnides sulli ning teist saavad Hollywood Boulevardi staarid, teie nimi on iga teise suus ning teie fännid armastavad teid – aga ärge unustage, meie reeglid.

Ja nii juhtus ka Nickelback’iga, kui Roadrunner Records, täpsemini Warner Music Group nad oma tiiva alla võttis. Laulud, mis said hittideks, on ehitatud väga lihtsa verse-chorus-verse süsteemi peal, täpselt sama rütm ning tihtipeale ka sama viis. Sõnad võivad teised olla, kuid neile tähelepanu pole mõtet pöörata, kuna paljud neist on lihtsalt à la ’’Someday’’, kus lihtsalt romantiseeritakse koduvägivalda. Ja siis miljonid inimesed laulavad kaasa nagu see oleks nii nunnu ja armas. Ja see kordub albumist albumisse. Sinna juurde käib ka geniaalselt ebageniaalne meediakuvand, mida mehed endast jätavad, kui frontman Chad Kroeger säutsub, et Kanye Westi ’’Swish’’ saab olema läbi aegade parim album.

Aga Kaspar, miks see probleem on, Kanye West on ju maru äge ning ta on sama lahe nagu kõik ta mustad vennad? See on probleem, sest Kanye West müüs end samuti saatanale (ei, ära loe illuminati conspiracy) ning otsustas minna peavooluteed, aga tema puhul on asi pigem meediakuvandis kui muusikas: sisuliselt vägagi mõnusast ning respekteeritust hip-hop artistist sai oma väljaütlemiste ja tegude tõttu üks paras ohmoon, kelle muusika, alates albumist ’’Graduation’’, on läinud ainult alla. Mina isiklikult seda pseudoismi, mida ta viimase 10 aasta jooksul tootnud on, ei austa.

Aga mis seal parata, see müüb massidele ning inimestele meeldib see. Nickelback ei ole kaugeltki ainus bänd, kes selle valiku langetanud on: viimasena sattus oinaste seltsi ka Muse. Nad on lihtsalt parim näide sellest, mida lubatud au, kuulsus, rikkus ja kõik see muu sasipundar toob, kui Sa vaid teed seda, mis müüb. Kurat, kas tõesti on nii raske olla hingega asja juures? Siin ei ole isegi juttu enam sellest, et hei-hei mehed, ideed otsas, nüüd võiks laulu tagurpidi järgmisel albumil esitada, vaid sellest, et sihiks on võetud Billboard Top 1. Jah, okei, kommertsialiseerumine ning peavoolustumine on tavaline nähtus ja suures osas talutav, siis lihtsalt… ’’I was waiting on a different story’’. Jesus fuck*ng christ.

Foto: Consequence Of Sound

107 Comments

  1. Taavi February 14, 2016 at 00:32 - Reply

    TÄIESTI NÕUS! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvujgcbaCF8 on parim näide sellest SINU öeldud ”pseudoismist”.

  2. noo February 15, 2016 at 02:30 - Reply

    väga originaalsed poindid. ei kõla nagu kõikide-arvamuslugude-ever kokkuvõte.
    veidi võiks ju pingutada ka :D

    • 4dimensioon February 15, 2016 at 08:53 - Reply

      Aga see ju tähendab, et polegi tarvis kõiki arvamuslugusid ever lugeda ja Neljas Dimensioon annab asjast ammendava ülevaate, kas pole?

  3. OSWALD WHO February 15, 2016 at 09:39 - Reply

    Artikkel jättis kirjutajast mulje, nagu ta kannataks hipstersnobismi käes.
    Ma saan aru, et on valus, kui mainstream üle võtab, aga see on artisti enda valik ja ega see halamine ka siin ei aita. Switch over to järgmine talendikas underground bänd ja kirjuta nendest. We dont need negativity bro- it’s everywhere.
    Isiklikult endal mingisugust kompleksi pole ja kui tunne on siis laulan kaasa Nickelbacki, Kanyet ja motherfucking Taylor Swifti.
    Caesari salatit söön ka.

    • massa February 15, 2016 at 12:56 - Reply

      Asi ei ole üldse hipstersnobismis. Kahju on pealt vaadata, kuidas potentsiaalsed bändid alla käivad ning hakkavad totaalset saasta tootma. Samasuguse saatusega on näiteks Muse, kelle esimesed kaks albumit on decent küte, mille ma olen ribadeks kuulanud, kuid viimane album on inetu läga. Sisuliselt on tegemist samasuguse nähtusega, kuid Nickelback on selle kõige tuntum nähtus.

    • Kaspar Lind February 15, 2016 at 15:09 - Reply

      Ma tahtsin edasi anda mõtet, mida teeb peavoolustumine talendiga, mitte seda, et ainult põrandaalused kollektiivid on tarbitavad. Mu ülikriitilisus jätab tihtipeale väga negatiivse kuvandi, aga see on stiiliküsimus. Nagu ka artiklis mainitud sai, siis ma laulan ka neile kaasa, aga ma pole suurim kaasa plaksutaja. Minu mure, sarnaselt Massale, on see, et raha pimestab artisti.
      Hipstersnob ma pole, ma kuulan vahel Limp Bizkitit, mille puhul on küll bänd võrratu, aga Fred Dursti hoomamatu isiksus ja üsna veider stiil annab bändile selle maine, mis tal on.
      Kokkuvõttes on tegu siiski ühe inimese arvamusega, mitte enamuse omaga, kellele meeldib Nickelback, see kuulab Nickelbacki, muusikamaitse üle ei vaielda.

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Kõik vihkavad Nickelbacki

Published On: February 13, 2016By

’’Never made it as a wise man, couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealin’, tired of living like a blind…’’ ja nii edasi. Me kõik teame neid sõnu. Aga mõnel meist on piinlik neid kaasa laulda. Kardavad, et mõni üli-cool võhik vaatab nende poole tülgastusega, mõeldes, mitmes viin sul küll läheb, et sa Nickelbacki sõnu tead. Paljud ei saa isegi aru, miks selliseid ’’võhikuid’’ eksisteerib, kuidas saab nii ’’õilsa’’ sõnumi ja ’’mõnusa’’ repertuaariga bändi poole pilduda vihaseid kommentaare? Lihtsamalt küsides: miks Nickelback nii pask on?

Alustame algusest. Härrade esimene album ’’Curb’’ ilmus aastal 1996, kui grunge hakkas hääbuma ning nu-metal, rap metal ja hiliste 90ndate kraam üle võttis. Kuna ma polnud ise varem albumiga lähemalt tutvunud, võtsin mõned minutid, et asjast lühike ülevaade saada, ja teate mis – see oli ikka päris okei. Nagu mitte okei kui Rimi Basic teevalik, vaid okei kui seda kannatab kuulata. Sünge grunge, mis meeste edasist muusikakarjääri arvesse võttes lausa särab. Ja siis ma võtan kõrvale ’’How You Remind Me’’ ja ’’Someday’’,  ning mõtlen, mis just juhtus, Chad Kroeger? Kas vahetasid lõikumise ja viina Caesari salati ning Bud Lighti vastu? Miks muutus tõelise tundega muusika mingiks läilaks sõnnikuks? Ausalt, ma tahaks lihtsalt kellegi pea vastu seina virutada, sest ma olen nii vihane, et meeste ilmselgeid muusikalisi võimeid  nüüd lihtsalt kuskil pimedas Kanada keldris hoitakse, kus ühe silmaga mees nimega Mein Stream neid lukuga peksab. Ja siis ma sain aru, milles asi – plaadifirmad.

Ei pea kaua mõtlema, miks võib talent raisku minna, kui mängus on suured rahasummad. Kapitalistlik ühiskond ometi. Meestele antakse kätte käsikiri, et nii poisid, nüüd on nii, et siin on see, mida me tahame, see teenib tonnides sulli ning teist saavad Hollywood Boulevardi staarid, teie nimi on iga teise suus ning teie fännid armastavad teid – aga ärge unustage, meie reeglid.

Ja nii juhtus ka Nickelback’iga, kui Roadrunner Records, täpsemini Warner Music Group nad oma tiiva alla võttis. Laulud, mis said hittideks, on ehitatud väga lihtsa verse-chorus-verse süsteemi peal, täpselt sama rütm ning tihtipeale ka sama viis. Sõnad võivad teised olla, kuid neile tähelepanu pole mõtet pöörata, kuna paljud neist on lihtsalt à la ’’Someday’’, kus lihtsalt romantiseeritakse koduvägivalda. Ja siis miljonid inimesed laulavad kaasa nagu see oleks nii nunnu ja armas. Ja see kordub albumist albumisse. Sinna juurde käib ka geniaalselt ebageniaalne meediakuvand, mida mehed endast jätavad, kui frontman Chad Kroeger säutsub, et Kanye Westi ’’Swish’’ saab olema läbi aegade parim album.

Aga Kaspar, miks see probleem on, Kanye West on ju maru äge ning ta on sama lahe nagu kõik ta mustad vennad? See on probleem, sest Kanye West müüs end samuti saatanale (ei, ära loe illuminati conspiracy) ning otsustas minna peavooluteed, aga tema puhul on asi pigem meediakuvandis kui muusikas: sisuliselt vägagi mõnusast ning respekteeritust hip-hop artistist sai oma väljaütlemiste ja tegude tõttu üks paras ohmoon, kelle muusika, alates albumist ’’Graduation’’, on läinud ainult alla. Mina isiklikult seda pseudoismi, mida ta viimase 10 aasta jooksul tootnud on, ei austa.

Aga mis seal parata, see müüb massidele ning inimestele meeldib see. Nickelback ei ole kaugeltki ainus bänd, kes selle valiku langetanud on: viimasena sattus oinaste seltsi ka Muse. Nad on lihtsalt parim näide sellest, mida lubatud au, kuulsus, rikkus ja kõik see muu sasipundar toob, kui Sa vaid teed seda, mis müüb. Kurat, kas tõesti on nii raske olla hingega asja juures? Siin ei ole isegi juttu enam sellest, et hei-hei mehed, ideed otsas, nüüd võiks laulu tagurpidi järgmisel albumil esitada, vaid sellest, et sihiks on võetud Billboard Top 1. Jah, okei, kommertsialiseerumine ning peavoolustumine on tavaline nähtus ja suures osas talutav, siis lihtsalt… ’’I was waiting on a different story’’. Jesus fuck*ng christ.

Foto: Consequence Of Sound